Los Angeles, CA -- News reports are coming in that celebrated actor and anti-ape activist Charlton Heston has died at the age of 84.  Most are stunned at the news, swearing that they thought he was at least 102.  While certainly an interesting character, and the star of such seminal works as The Naked Jungle, Climax! and Bagpipe:Instrument of War, he will ever be known as the spokesperson and president of the NRA.  No word yet on whether anyone has pried the assault weapon from his cold, dead, hand.