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Monday, July 25, 2005
Bloodthirsty Wine Guide and Glossary
posted by John @ 8:56 PM

Lots of listeners have been writing and asking for wine recommendations, food pairings and some help with the proper pronunciation of those odd-looking wine names. Since we're both food lovers and advocates of cross-culturalism, we felt it our duty to spread our wealth of knowledge on the subject. Please, take a few moments and consider some of our suggestions as they will surely enhance any dining experience and help dispel the myth that good wine is only for the initiated.

Cabernet Franc (Cabber-net Frank)
A red wine grape used in many a fine Bordeaux. Pairs nicely with hearty mushrooms and toast.

Cabernet Sauvignon (Cabber-net So-vig-nahn)
A bold, often tannic red that is most appropriately served with rich, dark sauces and pizza.

Champagne (Cham-pag-nee)
Both a famous region in France as well as a sparkling wine. The name Champagne has become synonymous with celebration and is best served chilled mixed with ginger ale.

Chardonnay (Char-don-nee)
A white grape, considered by many to be the world's finest. It is quite lovely when paired with Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.

Chianti (Key-ante)
You cannot miss this wicker-encrusted Italian red. Wonderful when served with a large pile of spaghetti and meatballs (vegetarian, of course). Try it with soft violins, mandolins and a Tramp. One of the more utilitarian wines since the bottle is designed to hold standard candles.

Merlot (Mer-laht)
Another fine red wine which plays second fiddle to the bolder Cabernets and Syrahs, but if done well should be a staple in any cellar. Perfect when paired with aged or aerosol cheeses.

Pinot Noir (Pie-not No-yer)
A red grape that is the basis for some of the most famous wines of Burgundy and has done extraordinarily well in California. Should always be paired with potato chips and a beer chaser. Take care when choosing the beer as a light or overly-hoppy brew can completely ruin the flavor of the chips.

Sauvignon Blanc (So-vig-nahn Blank)
A complete waste of time.

Shiraz (Shy-razz)
The Australian variant of the French Syrah. A bold red, similar to a Cabernet Sauvignon with pepper or sometimes tobacco notes. Needs no food pairing, smooth and even with a clean finish. The best choice for speed competitions.

Syrah (Sie-ra)
The doppelganger of the superior Australian Shiraz. The drink of choice for Bizarro super heroes or other goatee-afflicted villains. By no means should this come in contact with Shiraz since combining the two may release enormous amounts of energy and karaoke.

Feel free to print this list out and take it with you on your next shopping spree or formal dinner. And, as the French say...

Bonne chance!

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