In a recent bit of brilliant investigative journalism, Carl Woodward of the Washington Chronicles recently found evidence demonstrating that all of the characters and events on the TV show M*A*S*H, never happened. Coming as a shock to all 20th century historians, this development will undoubtedly change the course recorded history for the next 30 years. Historian William Wendell was quoted as saying, "I can't believe Hawkeye wasn't real, he looked real and liked Groucho, how could he lie to me like that?"